remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
don't judge my taste in strippers
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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