a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
