I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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