Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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