The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
