i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
