I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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