we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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