I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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