my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
