SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
