Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
