I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize