my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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