the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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