You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
