I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
