she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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