I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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