The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
