I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I got inside last night via doggy door
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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