I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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