My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
