god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
