Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
