Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
