Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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