I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
