Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
