every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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