Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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