Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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