i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize