No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Found your dick twin last night
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
