Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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