i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
