You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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