that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize