I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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