She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
