the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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