Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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