I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
