I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Randomize
