giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
