Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am available for nakedness
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
