she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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