I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
