So drunk, too bad you don't want this
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
