do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
We're like a lot better than the average bears
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
