So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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