Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
