How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
