Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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