why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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