So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
