I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
