The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
